Zombie Holiday Feast

Two great things that go great together…zombies and the holidays. Because? Well, because fun and gross always makes for an amusing combination. So, given we are all about to give thanks for all of the good things of this past year, and stuff ourselves into comas, what would the Zombie family put on the Thanksgiving table? Here’s what I’ve come up with off the top of my head.

Appetizer: whipped fatty tissue, lightly seasoned with garlic and salt and crispy fried skin for dipping (mmmm, fried skin). If you want to be fancy, some liver pate will impress the guests.

Salad: pickled eyeballs and maggots, tossed with a zesty spinal fluid (look! it squirms!)

Main Course: that TSTL (too stupid to live) teen down the street who thinks sneeking into the Zombie family basement (without telling anyone)  filled with things hanging from hooks is a great idea. Carved into tasty steaks of course, because the Zombies are civilized undead and it is, after all, a holiday. Served raw of course.

Sides: a nice loaf of crusty french bread. Need something to sop up those juices with! Mashed intestine (clean thoroughly), infused with some of that delicate marrow from the bones of that TSTL idiot. Top it off with a bit of blood for some added color. Sliced kidney, lightly pan-fried in butter (because even zombies like butter).

Drink: hot-buttered blood for the win!

Dessert: Isn’t it obvious? Chilled brains. For that party flavor, serve in the open skull of the TSTL.

Afterward, it’s coma time in the family room and a movie marathon of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. Everyone needs heroes!

That is all. Enjoy the holidays everyone!

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One response to “Zombie Holiday Feast

  1. My zombie grandparents gots to have their breaded human-fingers with their famous, homemade BBQB (Barbeque’d Bloody) dipping sauce. And don’t forget the buns! Replace the designer jeans on the buns with a delicious honey-butter warmed to room temp… All very economical as well. U da man Jim!!